


Speak Kindly of the Dead

by NoisyNoiverns



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Gen, Grief/Mourning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-30
Updated: 2016-12-30
Packaged: 2018-09-13 08:06:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9114331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoisyNoiverns/pseuds/NoisyNoiverns
Summary: Five years after his death, Saren and Abrudas reminisce about Desolas.





	

**Author's Note:**

> for the m.e. flash fanwork december prompt "reflections"

_Clack. Clack. Clack._

Saren twitched a mandible, but didn’t look up from his study of his hands. “Captain.”

There was a soft grunt, and a hum of greeting subvocals, then the clacking drew up next to him before halting altogether as their cause sat down on the bench next to him. “Fancy meeting you here, stranger,” Abrudas said with a slight puff of breath.

He shook his head and looked up. Across the pathway from where they sat, a massive statue stood under a tarp, waiting for the unveiling the next day. Underneath, his brother’s painfully-familiar face would be staring off into space, the paint on his markings still drying. “I wouldn’t miss it.”

One mandible quirked upwards, and Abrudas shifted to make herself comfortable. “How’ve you been, kid?”

Saren shrugged. “I’m still alive.”

She snorted. “That’s not saying a lot. You’re a Spectre, you’re supposed to survive anything the galaxy can throw at you.”

One mandible fluttered in a ghost of a smile. “The Council gave me permission to hunt that human you encountered. Harper. In my own time, of course.”

“Of course.” Her mandibles went down and out. “Can’t afford to let the _special little new kids_ think we suspect them of being horrid little-”

“Valis,” he said mildly, “Public.”

She paused, then grumbled. “Right. I did it again. Sorry.”

He nudged her shoulder and rumbled a forgiving subvocal. Before Desolas had died, before everything at Temple Palaven had gone wrong, he’d visited Abrudas in the hospital. _“You have to be patient with her now,”_ he’d told Saren. _“Blunt force trauma. She has brain damage. She takes a little longer to comprehend situations and things than she used to, but she’ll get it. You just have to remind her and be patient.”_

And then he’d gone and died, and now what was he supposed to do? It wasn’t like he’d ever been very good at being patient in the first place.

He sighed and shook his head. He’d been getting along with Abrudas just fine, even if he couldn’t bring himself to call her by her first name in his head yet. “How’s the hospital been treating you?”

Abrudas growled. “Terrible. Can you believe they want me to… to… to _talk to humans?_ I mean, asari are one thing, I can handle asari, they’re just _snobs._ But _humans?”_ She shuddered. “I can’t do it.”

Saren weaved understanding into his subvocals. After what Abrudas had been through on Shanxi, he couldn’t blame her. He doubted she’d even been off Palaven since the incident, not even to visit the family she’d mentioned on one of the colonies. Just the sight of humans on the news had sent her into a panic attack the last time he’d visited her; he couldn’t imagine how she reacted to meeting them in person.

Abrudas sighed and leaned back in her seat, gazing out at the covered statue. She was quiet for a moment, then, with subvocals a mix of mourning and wistfulness, she said, “You know I came _this_ close to the last things I ever spoke to him being a fight?”

Saren glanced at her, flicking one mandible. “I think he may have mentioned something like that.”

“Mm. He visited me in the hospital, and we got into it about aliens. You know how he got. ‘Galaxy would be better off with turians on top,’ and all that noise. I just wanted him to admit aliens are good for some things. We got in a fight, and I made him leave. Then that night he came back for the last hour and a half of visiting, and we _sort of_ made up. The kind of making up where nobody concedes defeat, just that you’re sorry for fighting.” She heaved another sigh, rubbing her brow plates with one hand. “Spirits, he could be so _stubborn._ ”

Saren rumbled in understanding. “Try growing up with him.”

Her mandibles went down and out. “Working with him was enough of a pain. For a guy who made general pretty young, he was so…”

“Un-general-like?” Saren suggested.

“I swear there’s a word for it, but yeah.” She snorted. “I mean, he was a good leader and all, really charismatic… One time he actually convinced this recruit that batarians and salarians are the same species, just with some stuff over their eyes. I watched.”

Saren turned to look at her, lowering his brow plates. “Why did he do that?”

She shrugged. “I bet him a hundred credits he couldn’t.”

He considered this, then snorted softly. “When I was six, he came very close to convincing me turians are omnivores.”

She paused, then put a hand up to muffle a snort. “And you _believed him?”_

“I told you, I was _six,”_ he protested.

“You were a _dumb_ six-year-old,” she said, mandibles fluttering wildly. Then she sighed, subvocals still rippling with amusement. “Still, that sounds exactly like something he’d do. I know I didn’t know him like you did, but…”

Saren regarded her carefully. He’d done his best to pretend he couldn’t see what was going on- the looks his brother shared with Abrudas, the friendly touches that lasted just a little too long, the subvocals that sang with things left unsaid. But even he couldn’t deny the obvious when they spent most nights sharing Desolas’s quarters, when they argued like an old mated couple, when spending time with _him_ had quietly become spending time with _them_. “You really loved him, didn’t you?”

She heaved another sigh. “Yeah, I guess I did. I mean, spirits, he could be such an _ass._ He couldn’t let things go, he hated to lose _anything…_ But I mean, I admired him. He was smart, and strong, and he was so loyal to the Empire… And he cared so much about you.”

Saren’s head jerked back, and she nodded. “Yeah, I know, not really what you look for in a partner. But, I don’t know, the way he talked about you, and everything you’ve done… It was sweet. He really cared about you, and I guess it got to me, I don’t know.”

Something caught in Saren’s throat, and he had to look away. Abrudas sat up a little. “Shit, don’t tell me you’re upset that you had to share your brother…”

He shook his head quickly. “No, that’s not it. I just…” He took a deep breath, staring at his hands now. “It was just the two of us for so long, I… I suppose I never thought it would be anything else. He had other partners before you, of course, but they didn’t last long, or they were after I moved away. There was one named Kartus once. He was the last before you, actually. We got on well enough over comms, but when we met face-to-face…” He shook his head. “He didn’t take well to me. It was a deal-breaker for Desolas.”

“And then I happened.” Abrudas’s voice was soft, subvocals rolling with sympathy and understanding.

He nodded. “He… He talked about you frequently. Only high praise. He said you were strong, and loyal. He even thought you’d make a good general yourself. I believe he was surprised you were still only a lieutenant, actually. He was very proud that you were promoted after Shanxi.”

She _hmph_ ed. “I’m flattered. I guess he always _did_ brag about his eye for talent.” She gave a wistful little sigh. “You know, for how arrogant, and stubborn, and stupid, and downright _mean_ he could get…”

“Not a day goes by you don’t miss him,” Saren finished for her, subvocals rumbling a mournful note. “Me, too.”


End file.
